Matt - Brittney - Mary Tyler - Cooper - Annie

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

a laugh for you all .. its long but youre gonna wanna read it. its worth it.

ok. so i don't know how many of you have taken an ambien before. or how many of you know that i take ambien (for about a year and a half now). and for that matter, how many of you know what crazy crap you are capable of doing when you take an ambien.

for the most part, i am normal. i take it. it takes me about an hour to fall asleep. and im good. i may play a couple of weird games of scrabble on my iphone or add STRANGE names to my "baby name" list (once i woke up and had added the name Webster Harold Bolt...???) sometimes, i say crazy stuff to matt. but that happened a lot more when i first started taking it than it does now.

the thing i do the most on ambien is text. and they are usually always to my brother. i dont know why. my brother, the king of eating doritos, once received a text from me saying, "i just watched food network show and it said that doritos are the loudest chip. no wonder you're always crunchy crunchmeister all up in my ear. diggity." ...... that's just an example.

when people do those things on ambien, you cant compare it to a drunk, slurring, blackout person. matt says, when i talk to him and say things off the wall, like, "where'd she go? .... emily was just standing beside you and now she's gone" (in the dark of night laying in bed, and scare the crap out of him ... that i am totally normal. dont look messed up. dont sound messed up. just dead serious, normal person. and almost always i remember what i did, the next day and think it was a dream.

ALRIGHT . all of that was to preface my most recent ambien mishap. did i mention, that drinking alcohol, then taking ambien, intensifies these episodes? as you all know, i havent drank a drop in a long time!!! thursday night, lauren came over and hung out and i drank 3 beers. when i came up to go to bed i decided to give it about an hour until i took my medicine so it wouldnt cause trouble. i took it and fell asleep before matt came to bed.

he walks in to a sleeping brittney, fully clothed, lights on, and thought i was just watching tv. he says "baby?" i say "they wont stop arguing with me and its really making me mad!"
matt: "Who?"
me: "the pink flowers"

matt realizes what's going on and goes in the bathroom to brush his teeth, etc. and hopes i fall asleep. *he used to entertain himself by keeping me on the subject for a while and see what all i'd say, now he just thinks its shenanigans and hopes i fall asleep* anyway. he's doing his nightly routine, washing his face and all, and hasnt heard a peep from me and thinks i fell back asleep. he comes back in and im sitting up in bed with a mad look. he says "what now?"
me: "they still wont stop arguing with me!!! they think im a bad photographer, but im not! and denny knows it... i sent him an email!"

......... denny shortt. my wedding photographer. great guy. love him. DONT NEED TO SEND HIM AMBIEN EMAILS AT 2:30 AM!!!!!!!!!!! matt doesnt really believe me. gets my phone from me. and looks. sure enough, outbox, 2:13am.. to email reads:

Subject: Duuuuuuude

Let me be your apprentince/personal assistant!! I Iove errrthang about photography but I need to learn the ropes. Could you show me the ropes for a while for (free free free) then many somehow I can be part of the team. I'll do anything I Just love what you do and love being around yall wonderful people and the industry in general. I'm a good marketer. I'll spread the word on anything yall need me too!! Come onnnnn you know you wanna work with me :) i'm awesome! Love you denmasterflex
Sent from my iPhone

i dont think i really need to say anything else. but ill finish the story for you. after some more shenanigans and texting my brother the word "great" i finally fell asleep. matt wakes me up in the morning and says "do you remember writing denny an email last night?" me:" ............s***. i thought that was a dream." horrified, but glad i didnt send it to like, my cake lady or florist or something, i write denny another email...

Subject: WOW

You've heard of people doing crazy sh** on ambien. That was an example. Haha! Wow. I'm sorry! Out of control, I don't remember, Matt told me this morning and I was like omg.
Sent from my iPhone

denny writes back: "youre awesome!!!!!!!!!"

*pats self on back* great job brittney, great job. happy tuesday, folks. :)



  1. Hahaha that is too funny! My step-dad took Ambien for a while when he was working nightshift. But, he would take it too late in the morning and it wouldn't have worn off completely and he'd drive to work still messed up from it. He would also make complete meals for us, go to sleep, wake up and not realize he had made us dinner. It scared my mom to death so she made him get off it!

  2. That was hilarious! Thanks for a great start to a busy day! Perhaps I could help you look at homeopathic/natural alternatives?! :)

  3. That is way too funny! I don't think you could have picked a better person to write to though, denny is so funny! He did my maternity pictures over a year ago and I still have not ordered them. I need to call him! Thanks for the story!

  4. Bwahahahaha!!!! Oh Britt, too funny!

    I took ambien once and woke up sitting cross legged on top of my kitchen table. That was the last time i took it...

  5. here's my question...have you ever razzle dazzled while on ambien?

  6. haha! whit. i havent razzle dazzled in a long time. i need to bring it back, maybe? no? haha.