hey everyone. first, i just want to thank you all for your sweet concern and comments checking in to see if im ok. originally, we thought that once i had these tests done, i could rest assured in knowing what was wrong with me, that i was going to be ok, and could move on with everyday life. it has been quite the opposite these past couple of weeks. it turns out, that now that i know what is wrong, and that i can pass out so quickly without warning, i am constantly worried that it is going to happen. i have the worst anxiety imaginable and honestly, i am scared to leave the house.
i tried to go to my anatomy class in simpsonville for the first time since the procedure. i made it there, sat for 5 minutes of it, it was a class on blood (of all things, that is one of my triggers) and i just couldn't do it. i had one of the worst panic attacks ive had. laid in my car for a while, and had to go home. since then, i haven't been driving. i've gone to my doctor who's prescribed me to an antianxiety medicine and im hoping that it helps. basically, im a nervous wreck, and the last thing i want to do is turn into a hermit that never leaves home.
i say all of this, not to throw a pity party for myself and have everyone feel sorry for me, but to explain how hard this is for me and reach out to you in search of prayers. i know so many of you who read my blog are dilligent in prayer and have very strong relationships with the Lord, and if you could keep me in your thoughts and prayers this week, it would be greatly appreciated. pray that God will take away the nervous feelings and the anxiety, and that my medicine would be effective and not hindering.
it's not easy for me to reach out for help. especially lately having to ask people to drive me around, taking me to the doctor, or to the pharmacy. having to get matt to do the grocery shopping. etc. im tired of having to rely on everyone else and most of the time, feel like im burdening them, asking so much. but i am trying to settle with the fact that they love me and they want to help, and i'd be doing the same thing for them if they were in my situation. thanks for you prayers this week!! ill update soon.
6 hours ago